Tuesday, October 9, 2012

To My Mother's Generation

You are deluded. Perhaps you have just forgotten. After all, the details are now some thirty+ years behind you. It would be only normal for you to have gotten a little fuzzy on each and every detail of those miraculous days you treasured so long ago.

So do me {and my generation} a favor: just admit that you can't remember. Because some of my sisters aren't so thick skinned. And your comments {however innocent} hurt their feelings. And of all people, you should know how wild our hormones are at this time--so naturally any comment you make is unjustly magnified and blown out of proportion by these raging beasts.

No need to go on and on about how my pregnant belly is SOOOO big! No--for the 100th time, I'm not having twins. {Two ultrasounds have now confirmed only 1 heartbeat} No need to give me that shocked look while telling me that you were never this big until the day you delivered each one of your angels. And there's definitely no need to have this conversation each time we meet.{Don't you remember how it went the last time?} Oh, and please keep all weight predictions to yourself. The last thing I need during my final months of pregnancy is the terrifying anxiety that your 10-pound baby prediction causes. Seriously. It does no good. And you'll be wrong anyway. {Turned out that huge baby in my belly only weighed 6lbs 11oz}

Let's talk for a moment about your mixed reaction to the way we modern mothers clothe ourselves during our ever-expanding 10-month journeys. Some of you think we're cute. You think that the fact that we wear tighter-fitting clothing to show off our pregnant bellies is just so sweet. And you admit that you didn't do that in your day. It was all about hiding the bump. And some of you think that we should still be covering up our growing bellies--hiding them underneath of some ugly moo-moos and calling it a day. {God forbid those beautiful pregnant bellies confidently and freely protruding from the body of a bikini-clad mother-to-be! Gasp!} Whatever your preference, let's just all admit one fact: in your day, you went out of your way to hide your belly and in my day, I look for flattering styles to showcase it. Don't you think this could be the reason you have forgotten how large your pregnant belly ever swelled?

So when you tell me that you were never this big, I don't believe you. I was a kid in your childbearing days. And I remember seeing my mom's largely pregnant belly many times. And when I saw her pregnant belly, it wasn't when she was laboring in the delivery ward. It was the time she let me feel my sibling kicking her from the inside. Or watching the errant foot swoosh across her pregnant belly. Or her admission that she was wearing "fraternity" clothes {my brother's innocent mistake...maternity. fraternity. eh...the same, right?} when she dropped the bomb of another pregnancy on us--she was only 3-4 months pregnant.

Evolution takes many more years than one generation to have a noticeable effect on its subject. Fashion changes year to year. So let's agree that I am still the same breed of child-bearing woman that you were some 30 years ago. Remember that advice you gave your sons when they were old enough to find a mate? Something like if you want to know what a girl's going to look like in 30 years, just look at her mother... Well that girl, that's me. Look at me...you told your sons that I'd look like you. Pregnant belly and all. So let's agree that perhaps you just forgot how big your belly ever got. And please, can you encourage your maternal sisterhood to join my generation in celebrating our pregnant bodies rather than adding insult to injury on a 90-degree swollen cankle kind of day? We'd be ever so grateful!

Love,
Tabitha






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