There's Something I Have To Tell You

And no, I'm not pregnant. Promise! {In my family, that's usually the first guess when someone of childbearing age/station begins a sentence that way}

photo credit Ken Bruggeman

Seriously, though, I've been holding out on you. I haven't yet told you the whole story. Fear held me back. But now, fear has to go. And faith must endure.

Over three years ago, God started speaking to Ben's heart and my heart separately. But He was telling us both the same things. Things about our destiny and our future. And then we'd be talking about the things on our hearts, sharing our dreams and desires, and we'd realize that suddenly we were both desiring the same things, dreaming about the same destiny--our futures looked identical--and all of it was new. None of it was familiar. We had been married over a year at that point and none of this had ever come up in conversation.

photo via

Except that I can remember {periodically throughout my life} emphatically declaring: I will NEVER live on a farm. I will NEVER be a farmer's wife.

photo via

But suddenly, my heart yearned for nothing else. Suddenly, the only future I could see involved my family living, working, loving and worshipping in fields and meadows. I could only see a way of life that involved raising animals for meat, dairy, and eggs the way they were intended to be raised--sustainably, on grass. Cows. Pigs. Chickens. And this was all that my husband could see as well. {My husband, who once turned his nose up at the thought of attending an agricultural college because "it stinks!"}

photo via

You see, God laid this destiny on our hearts and from it grew up the desires of our hearts. Three years later, we are at the point where we can no longer decipher between destiny and desire, because they're the same. And it's wonderful.

photo via

There's only one problem. We don't own a farm. We don't have family that owns a farm. And we don't have the finances to afford a farm. Not even a small farmette. Nope. Nothing. But here's the thing--the thing I've been keeping from you--we don't see that as a problem. Because God has promised to provide us with a farm. Three years ago, when He started working on our hearts, He told us that He's prepared a place for us. And He would provide us with a farm.

Now, even with a promise like that, it's hard to imagine it really happening. Circumstances say it won't happen. Natural realities say that it won't happen. And I'm not here preaching some prosperity gospel, but guys--it's going to happen! I've been afraid to tell you this because what if it doesn't happen. But that silly fear is not from my God and lately I've been so burdened by the need to share my story even before it's complete.

photo via

So here it is. We believe that God is going to give us a farm. It's okay to be skeptical and doubtful. Most of the people we've told this to react that way. And we understand. It doesn't make sense. No one has ever seen something like this happen. And you haven't received my promise because it's mine. But we're standing in faith, believing that soon we will be living on a farm, restoring the land and really beginning our journey toward living life as it was intended. Because either God is God or He's not. And we've come to know Him too well {or else we're just too stubborn to admit otherwise} to believe that He doesn't exist and that the things He says are not true.

I know this post is long, but I'd like to share our friends' story. It's a story I was expectantly waiting to hear. And I think you'll be amazed too!

{copied from his Facebook page}:

I've been waiting to release this testimony, but now is the time. As most of you know, my wife and I had been trusting God to provide a minivan for our family the moment we realized our family was growing from 4 to 6. We became a one vehicle family in November 2012 and have watched God provide for our needs through people literally giving us full use of their cars for 3 months at a time. When the twins were born on August 10th, I was caught off guard. The van had not come yet. It certainly wasn't how I planned for it to go down. I thought for sure that the van would precede the twins birth. Three days after the twins were born, I received an email from a woman who had heard me preach a few weeks ago. During the sermon, God put it on her heart that she and her husband were to buy us a minivan. The picture you see is that van. Last Wednesday, the very next day after her email, this couple took me to Performance Toyota in Sinking Spring and wrote a check for $27,500 for a 2012 Toyota Sienna LE with only 10,000 miles on it.
It has always been my desire to see the fruit of what I claim I believe and for everyone who knows me to see the salvation of God in my life. During this whole time, one verse rang out in my heart: "He knows what I need before I ask." And He knew I needed a van. God is good. God is faithful.

Thanks for your prayers!

xoxo,
Tabitha