Friday, November 16, 2012

Musings

When I used to watch TV, I saw a commercial for one computer or computer system {you know...like the Windows 7 commercials or something} in which a dad wrote emails to his baby girl throughout her life. And I thought, I need to do that for my babies!

So when Burke was born, I created a Gmail account for him and Ben and I have been emailing him periodically over the past seventeen months. {When we remember} we send him pictures and silly videos of himself that we capture on our iPhones. Sometimes I'll email him a blog post I've written if it's specifically pertaining to his cuteness or how much I adore him. And other times, like today, I just sit down and write to him.

And I tell him how he's on my heart. I tell him that, even though he has no idea how our life will change in just a few weeks with the addition of another family member, he will always be my baby. My love. And that even though he'll never remember being an only child and having our 100% undivided attention, I feel a little sad for him as though he might somehow miss this. Even though I know it's not true. And I assure him that no matter how old he is, no matter if he's married or not, no matter what he's done, doing or will do...there is no where he can run to escape my love. And there is nothing he can do to make me love him any less.

My love for him is fierce. And I hope that he doesn't have to wait to read these emails someday to find out about the depth of my love for him. My desire is that when he does end up reading these emails, he can confidently say that he knows my words are true because I modeled them throughout his sweet life. And so these emails also remind me to continue my journey of intentionality. And to make sure that my love isn't just some words in an email but that my love is a part of who he is. So that like his identity, he knows that my love for him can never be separated from who he is or what he's done.

Do you email your babies? What do you do to preserve memories?

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