Tuesday, April 30, 2013

My Only Fear

Truth be told, I have only one fear in this life: that my children might lose sight of who they are. I'm not afraid of sickness, germs, or even death. I'm not afraid they'll make bad decisions or injure themselves in one way or another.  Because all of those things are bound to happen at one point or another and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. But losing sight of their identity does not have to be an inevitability. And I can do everything about it.

I can help them to know deep down in their souls that they are not their bad behavior. They simply made a bad choice. They are not someone's opinion of them. They are beautiful, strong and uniquely crafted individuals. They are not worthless. They are so incredibly worthy. {Jesus died for them!!} They are not lost or hopeless, for there is nothing too dirty and no crime unforgivable. They are not shameful, disgraceful or judged. They are free, redeemed and loved beyond imagination.

They are loved beyond imagination!! 

In the sobering reflection that follows the loss of a beautiful life cut short by its own will, my heart breaks to know that so many people believe the lies that others have spoken over them. That their perception of reality has so far strayed from actual reality that it is incomprehensible to anyone close to them. That they have let the opinions of others tell them who they are and that they hate this person others have created them to be. That they have lost sight of who they are. They have lost sight of their identity.

But I have the opportunity to foster my children's identities. To steward their identities. It's something I need to remind myself of daily, because in the moment of bad behavior it is so easy to equate the behavior with the child. {I wish I could take back the times I've told Burke he was a bad boy...} The truth is that he is a good boy who made a bad choice and the consequence must flow from that reality. His heart is so sweet and loving. He has such a generous and precious spirit. He is gentle and thoughtful. And these are the things I speak over him daily so that one day, if confronted with a contradictory perception, he'll know the truth about himself. He'll know who he is. His actions are a reflection of his perception of himself. So if he believes that he is loved, gentle and kind then he will act  in those ways. But if he believes that he is unloved and hopeless, then he will embark on a destructive path. So I pray that he'll be able to remove the lenses of contradictory perception that try to distort his view and leave him feeling hopeless and unloved. Because nothing scares me more than imagining my child believing the lie that he or she is alone, unloved, unworthy.

So I pray every day that I will be love to my children. To everyone around me. That I will speak identity and life over them and not death. I pray that they always know who they are. That they are loved beyond imagination.

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